I can really relate to this! This is where me and radical unschoolers have never seen eye to eye. It might be partially cultural, but my culture is (or was, when I was growing up) never one of individualism and so that never made sense to me. I've always spoken about unschooling as a community of practice, rather than a practice of individual freedom. It just never sat right with me! That said, my kids aren't amazing at doing chores and I don't make them - but I do ask for help and I'm very clear about explaining we live in a community and everyone pitches in. And they do, but not in a structured, regular way. Which is fine by me. We're also lucky to have someone who we pay to clean occasionally, so there's that. Personally I still like framing things as creative v. passive, not as a judgment but just as a way for us to notice how we spend our time.